There are a great many things that I talk about in this sweet blog o’ mine (“Paradide City” was on, ok? deal). I talk about my hopes, fears, adventures, and about anything else that comes to mind. However, a certain post has been conspicuously absent.
Today, I’d like to talk about my wife.
My wife, aka KoekjeMom, is one of the greatest people I know. She’s funny, beautiful, intelligent, a great mother, and one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Not many people know the full story of how we met, but it was on Craigslist. I had been bored and living in Oregon for nearly a year and decided that it was time to meet some new people. Living in Newberg, far far away from major cities like Beaverton, HIllsboro, even Portland proper, it was hard to get out there. Everything required lots of driving and my paychecks were a bit erratic due to my job suddenly offering lots of time off ( I worked collections then, for Wells Fargo. A great company to work for, btw). So, as a result, most of my socilizing was on the Internet. Sure, it’s well-known that I’m a nerd and like to be online, but meatspace (see, nerd!) is always a much more exciting space to be in.
So yes, I finally decided to get on Craigslist and post an ad. It wasn’t anything major, unless you count the (now-lost) “20 Rules To Date Me” scenario as major. Overall, it was just me doing what I do, which is writing funny stuff… sometimes. So after putting out an ad, I figured that probably a couple responses would come in and that would be the end of it. I did get a few replies, mostly from people complimenting my ad, but also a few somewhat serious ones. I think a personal favorite was the one who sent me a pic of herself taken with her camera phone via the Mirror Method, with her looking at her phone, instead of the mirror. Additionally, this picture was taken in the bathroom at her job. Srsly. No wtf is up with that.
Anyways. So after a bit I just sort of let it all go, until my future-wife sent me a response. It was simple, complimentary (I did include pics, of course), honest, and way less pretentious than the other responses. What was interesting is that a couple of previous responses mentioned having kids and I wrote back saying “sorry, not for me.” My wife did include that she had kids, but something about her reply to me made me want to get to know her better. So we chatted a bit and exchanged a couple pics.
Of course, then, I REALLY wanted to get to know her better, yaknowimean?
So we talked over email, then yahoo messenger, and then text messaging. These weren’t eath-shattering “how ever will we stop the hungering of those poor childrens in Africa” (solution: feed them to each other) conversations, they were just about day-to-day life and our jobs and the randomness of life. What I liked best was that we just sort-of clicked together. We “got” each other. I liked it because she was easy to talk to and she wasn’t like other people I’d chatted up on Yahoo before, she actually conversed. It wasn’t just “just being bored. u?” type of crap, but real responses and it was nice. While I totally loved (in a familial way) my roomate, we could only have so many discussions before repitition set in. So having someone else to talk to for a change was very nice.
After a couple weeks of conversation, we finally figured out that meeting was the end-goal here and decided to do so. Originally, we were just supposed to date casually as neither of us were looking for anything serious since both of us has just gotten out of disasterous relationships. So we agreed that casual it will be. We met up a couple times and had dinner and would hang out at my place in Newberg and just talk about everything. Of course, she’d often stay over since, usually, we’d be up very late, and she’d also bring a change of clothes so she could go from my place to her job. At the time the kiddos were hanging with their dad for the summer, so this wasn’t an issue.
One of my favorite memories was a night when I revealed that I hadn’t yet been to VooDoo Doughnuts, even after having been near Portland for almost 6 months. So we grabbed up her car keys and headed to downtown. We found a place to park and walked there, only to be informed that they were out of EVERYTHING but vegan doughnuts. Of course, we’d just driven nearly half an hour from Newberg to downtown PDX and we sure as hell weren’t coming away empty-handed. So with a $5 box of entirely too many doughnuts in hand, we drove back home.. after missing an exit and taking the I5 loop twice… driving is ALWAYS an adventure with us. We got home, retired to my room, and had much more fun eating doughnuts, laughing about the fact that neither of us had any clue as to how the hell to get home from downtown, and just enjoying being in each others’ company. No expectations, no stress, just two people having simple fun. We talk about it even to this day, it’s a fun memory.
Another fun memory was when I also mentioned I’d only been to Seaside once and wished I could go again (I do so love the Oregon coast). As was the case with us at the time, we decided to instantly head out and go walk along the beach… at 10pm. So we got to Seaside around 11, walked up and down the beach talking for about an hour, and then headed home. As dumb as it sounds, the idea of being on the beach at night was somehow foreign to me, but not to most Oregonians as several folks had the same idea. I was even surprised that there was no real “curfew” involved when a beach patrol truck stopped by us and asked if we’d heard any distress calls. Honestly, it was such a great time. The sound of the waves, the feel of the sand on my bare feed, and a great conversation with someone I was growing to love.
Over time, we dated more. We went out to try new places, have more adventures (rarely getting lost) until the summer was over. At that time, the kids came back and her availability was changed. Eventually I started spending time at her apartment as well. One day, we even had dinner together, including her kids. It was a fun night and we spend most of it watching TV and having fun, and getting doughnuts (seems to be a recurring theme, no?). I felt a bit nervous arond her kids since, well, I always feel nervous around kids. But she has wonderful boys and this nervousness soon washed away.
Soon after, the dynamic around my home in Newberg changed. A divorce among my rommates was imminent and I felt I needed to consider other options. I was making this observation when my wife just suddenly tossed out that I could move in with her. She said she had space and it would be ok. This was more of a friend-thing at that time and not any sort of relationship-driven decision. So after some consideration, I decided to do so. In the days leading up to the actual move, we discussed various living arrangements and decided that, since we were pretty much past the “casual” part of the originaly agreement, it would be a more traditional setup where we would be “living together” officially. I was nervous, since the last time I moved in with someone I was dating it ended up being my first marriage and THAT went oh-so-well. So, apprehension aside, I gathered up everything I owned, including my cat, packed it into her car (it was a mini-suv, so we had more carry space) and I moved in.
After that, the experience and adventures got better. Beach trips, long conversations about life in general, more doughnuts, trips back home to Oklahoma, and, eventually, marriage. I can honestly say that, so far, it’s been a great adventure and I wake up every day looking forward to what coms next. Yes, we do tend to be homebodies a lot, but there’s still a certain fun there since, well, you never know quite what we’ll do.
To my wife. I love you so very much. Thank you for the adventure that we’ve been on for almost two years now. I can honestly say that I’ve never had more fun in my entire life and I look forward to each new day with you.
So you want pizza?
