Where: Laurelhurst Market (web)
When: Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Damage: Mild. About $20 a plate or less
Verdict: Ever high-fived Jesus? Well, you have now…
Mar 11
Mar 10
While the second panel is the most poingnant, I think the entire “comic” is relevant in so many ways…
No.. I haven’t made out with myself.. not yet.. not appreciably, at least.
Mar 09
Words from a friend:
“It’s like standing on a beach where the waves are crashing against the rocks. There are 747s taking off overhead constantly, and someone is setting off fireworks right next to you. The serenity of the ocean, the marvel of technology, the whimsy of pyrotechnics – all desirable and all demonstrating some form of power, but all at once, you’re unable to enjoy or apply them.
Silence. Calm.
Put the lighter in your pocket. Ground the flights. Focus on the steady rhythm of the waves, how they roll onto the shore with unstoppable purpose, smoothing the sand as they ebb. When you are ready, direct those flights to take off as needed to visit the places you want to go. The sound of the engines represent energy being applied in specific directions. And, use the fireworks to celebrate success.”
There is so much truth to this and it’s so very well said. Thanks Brian. I find our friendship to be so unique. So much time between us and so much life, both ups and downs. Yet, we’ve never met. However, it is you that I count amongst my closest and I’m glad I can be along for your ride too.
Mar 08
To be formless, shapeless, without dedicated mass. It’s an aspiration I have right now. To become absolutely inert and without distinct aspects. It is a way to redefine, rebuild, restore.
As I go through this journey, I think about choices I have made. Decisions that had impact. And the times when choosing meant I made no choice. No, I don’t want to undo anything as I have anything but regret for the myriad paths my life has gone down. Rather, I’m quite proud of the whole situation. The ups, the downs, the lefts, and all other directions. I can look back and say that I did good. And yes, I can look back and say “the hell was THAT shit?” It’s all about balance right?
I’ve been trying to come up with who I want to be when this whole thing shakes out. Strangely, I actually do feel like the possibilities are endless here. There are so many directions to go in. Once you remove the obviousness of just wanting to be better (on how many ever levels that actually encompasses), the entirety of possibility lays itself before you. It stretches to the horizon, open arms, a willing heart. It can be a bit overwhelming too. So many choices to make and unmake. Some easy, others not so much. However, all of them have a certain.. purity to them, even if there’s violence in that purity (I’ve read “Lord of the Flies” WAAAAAAY too many times for my own damned good). I want to be overwhelmed though. I want to hit that point where it all shuts down and the quiet comes over me and then “it” comes. Purpose. Of course, I realize that my purpose probably is in writing at this point, but I guess I’m looking for something more. I really don’t know. Maybe I want to close my eyes and have it rain dictionaries or something.
Purpose, direction.. ideas. Many things to consider and build, but I don’t know where to start. So do what comes natural, right? Stop it all, let it settle, let it fade, and then open my eyes to it all and go. But I have to let go first. Something that isn’t easy for me. It’s important though. It’s important that I begin to learn to trust my instincts, my intuitions. More importantly, to act. I honestly believe this is the source of my tics. I don’t move, so I twitch. I don’t speak, so I have little auditory spasms. My body is talking and today, today I begin to listen.
Quietly.
Mar 04
So what makes for a good therapist? If I may offer the following…
You walk in and tell her your world is falling apart, ask about getting comfy, and she tells you she has chocolate and you’re free to bring dinner next time. So yeah, a good match. So with that qualifier out there, let’s get on to the wrapup.
Feb 18
So. Wednesday.
Going to see a new counselor is always an interesting experience. What will they be like? Are they nice? Will they actually listen? What if they come onto me? In theory, do I tip them if they do? Questions, questions, questions.
I was pleased to discover that my therapist is a very cool lady. She’s very liberal and very understanding of all the wacky proclivities of my life (kink, perversions, the fact that I read comics at age 35) and that’s nice. She’s very patient and also very engaging. She has no problem asking lots of questions that actually lead somewhere. So she does seem like a good fit and that helps.
The session was good. I was very open and honest about things. When asked what brought be there, I told her that life was very difficult right now; my marriage is having issues, I’m generally withdrawn from life, and I’m thinking about some very bad and scary things. Being a professional, she took these things in stride. I felt very good after that. It felt good to be able to say all of that and to know that it means I’ll be better soon(ish). We spent a lot of time just talking about each other, as is the custom when therapy first starts. Interestingly enough, she’s from the South as well (Texas, is all I’ll say), so we understand each other on that strange Southerner level. That’s nice.
I think this session went well because it was mostly just us getting to know each other. After her asking me if I liked her (indeed I did), we figured that I’d start coming back weekly, starting March 3. I’m appreciative of the fact that she has evening hours. So now I won’t have to worry about trying to get time off of work and such. So it does indeed appear that this is a good fit for me. So hooray for that.
As stated before, my next appointment is on the 3rd and is an evening appointment. So while this particular visit was fairly pedestrian, I imagine the next one will be a little more intensive as we start to make our way through the issues that are occupying the most space in my head.
Feb 17
First off.. this post will be pointless without this.
So go watch it and familiarize yourself with it. It’s ok, I’ll wait…
Dec 13
So. Houston managed to elect an openly gay mayor. Hey, good for you Houston. Oh and to every news agency who rushed to publish news feeds about this, making sure to specifically highlight the fact that the mayor is openly gay? Yeah, good job idiots.. you totally blew a golden opportunity.
Dec 11
You know. I think I’m finally starting to reach a point where I’m just about fed up with being the nice guy. And, this time, it’s directed towards my job.
Nov 16
You are all morons. Seriously. I’ve hit a point where I just want to start smashing people in the skull when it comes to Glenn Beck. You know why? Because I don’t care about Glenn Beck. Not one wit. As far as personal opinion goes, I guess he’s some jackass who said some stupid shit and now everyone’s freaking out because.. wait, why are you all freaking out? This nitwit is just some random dude on Fox Ne… oh, now I get it. He’s part of Fox News so he must instantly be a force of evil in the known universe, hell-bent on forming a new Third Reich based on his political viewpoints? Got it.
